Isa was born 12 weeks ago today. I am amazed. First of all, I can’t believe I have this amazing son with his amazing Poppa and I love them both so much. Right now, I’m watching Eduardo do his nightly walking meditation with Isa around our tiny apartment. There they go through the Kitchen, around the corner into the Living Room, then the Kitchen again and again. A full circle takes less than 10 sec. Isa is propped up on his shoulder and even though it’s nearly 11pm, his eyes are wide open and he’s looking at me as I write this. He’s making little puppy wimpers that change in tone to the pulse of Eduardo’s step. Soon I will go into the bedroom and nurse him down for the night and the two of us (three when Poppa joins us) will snuggle and sleep and enjoy the last Friday morning that we can sleep in together.
I had a bit of a breakdown tonight when I realized that this Monday spring break will be over and I’ll be back at work full time in earnest. The impending separation is agonizing. I’ve been worried that I won’t be able to pump enough milk and the anxiety has been cutting my milk production down (catch 22).
Relax. Breathe. We still have a few days left and I intend to savor them.