Two nights ago, Eduardo and I had our 3rd date night since Isa was born 7 months ago. We got to see beautiful Aunt Feezy sing in an outdoor concert on a gorgeous summer night and she was wonderful! Half way through the show though, maybe it was the music (maybe the wine) I got very emotional. I had a moment of profound awareness of the awesomeness of what laid in my and Eduardo’s hands: a pure, sweet, and utterly vulnerable soul. I don’t stop to consciously consider this everyday, but when I really let it in, it’s heart breaking to realize just how incredibly vulnerable a baby is. This person—this whole, little, constantly growing and changing PERSON is affected by everything you do, every choice you make. . How can you ever know if you’re doing enough? Everything matters now. Every choice you make impacts the life of this little one.
In the last few days, Isa has begun to call out for me with outstretched arms: “Ma Ma.” It’s a HUGE change. He never did anything like that before. It’s as if he picked it right out of the air and all of a sudden it just happened. I have to adjust to this greater demand from him. It used to be that he was content to be held and talked to by anyone, but as of this week, he’s become firmly attached to me. I’m a little concerned since I go back to school in 2 weeks. He’s gotten so used to my being with him everyday, I’m afraid he’ll be a bit shocked when I suddenly disappear. (We’ve got to get a regular babysitter situated as soon as possible!!!) He’s such a big boy now. He’s so incredibly aware of his surroundings, always busy watching everything, looking to see where each sounds has come from and where each person is going. The baby is most definitely gone and it happened as fast as a blink.
Here he is goofing around for the camera.